Friday, February 13, 2009
Ultimatums
So I've constantly had ultimatums in my head. I never told him about them which kind of defeats the purpose. So last year I said, if he doesn't propose by July, I'm leaving him....July became August...then August became November...and now I don't even have a potential date. I'm just so tired now. I think now, the time will come if it comes. Ithink I will know when its time to move on or to keep pushing through. Only time will tell how long I can take it.
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
Ring Shopping
So last week, we decided to go ring shopping. Or maybe I did...Or no, maybe he did. I'm confused. Supposedly Bob has been putting money a ring at a small local jewelry store back in Arizona. Do I believe that? No, not really. It was "confessed" to me while he was drunk one evening a year ago. So my question is, Why would someone be putting money on a ring for over a year but has no intentions of getting married "anytime soon"?
Back to the ring shopping--we talked about rings one night and since he thought it was what I wanted so much he comes up with the brilliant idea "Let's go look for rings tomorrow!" . Yeah, Yeah, I hear you. What's the catch? So that day, we are arguing on the way to the jewelry store- I forgot what we were even arguing about. I honestly didn't want to walk into the store. We did anyway. The salesperson asked questions. I sit there in silence at first. I got to the point where I feel like if I give any input or say anything, I am "rushing" him or making him do something he doesn't want to do. Bob doesn't have any answers. "So when are you guys planning on getting married?" ...I point to Bob. I don't have any of these answers. You know, he always says everything has to be on my time. But in marriage case, if it's not on my time, then it has to be on his time. It's always going to be on someone's time. It's not fair to me that I have to be on his time and it isn't fair for me to be on his time.
So ring shopping wasn't very successful. I would have to get the ring in my name and he would have to pay it. Not a cool setup, but it will have to work. So last night I ask, "What is the purpose of going ring shopping if you aren't going to 'propose' soon?" Firstly, I have to sign for the ring so its not like he can sneak and get it and have this huge proposal. Forget a huge proposal-Its 2009. To be honest, we don't have the money for a ring. It could be fit into the budget though. Do we have to have these rings and pieces of symbolism to get married? I don't think so. If we truly love each other, we can get married without flashy rings until we have more money. Being conventional at this point is out the window.
Back to the ring shopping--we talked about rings one night and since he thought it was what I wanted so much he comes up with the brilliant idea "Let's go look for rings tomorrow!" . Yeah, Yeah, I hear you. What's the catch? So that day, we are arguing on the way to the jewelry store- I forgot what we were even arguing about. I honestly didn't want to walk into the store. We did anyway. The salesperson asked questions. I sit there in silence at first. I got to the point where I feel like if I give any input or say anything, I am "rushing" him or making him do something he doesn't want to do. Bob doesn't have any answers. "So when are you guys planning on getting married?" ...I point to Bob. I don't have any of these answers. You know, he always says everything has to be on my time. But in marriage case, if it's not on my time, then it has to be on his time. It's always going to be on someone's time. It's not fair to me that I have to be on his time and it isn't fair for me to be on his time.
So ring shopping wasn't very successful. I would have to get the ring in my name and he would have to pay it. Not a cool setup, but it will have to work. So last night I ask, "What is the purpose of going ring shopping if you aren't going to 'propose' soon?" Firstly, I have to sign for the ring so its not like he can sneak and get it and have this huge proposal. Forget a huge proposal-Its 2009. To be honest, we don't have the money for a ring. It could be fit into the budget though. Do we have to have these rings and pieces of symbolism to get married? I don't think so. If we truly love each other, we can get married without flashy rings until we have more money. Being conventional at this point is out the window.
He's Just Not That into You (Me)
Is he really into me? Well, I hope he hasn't just stuck around because he is so comfortable with me. He tells me yesterday, "There is no one else I can see myself marrying". Right, because we have been dating for the past 5 years so obviously (hopefully) there are no other prospects. Is he just so comfortable with me for being together so long? I don't "think" I am. But I'm not really sure. I only ponder this because every women should question their heart sometimes. I feel like I love him and he is the ONLY person I want to marry.
If you have seen the movie, He's Just Not That Into You, I associate myself with Jennifer Anniston's character. The guy who is 100% committed. You act like your married..but no committment by law. I need and want that extra committment. Just saying your committed doesn't keep you away from other women...but Wait! Neither does marriage. So why do I want to get married? Maybe I don't have a clear answer for this. For one its the proper thing to do -we live as though we are married, we've known each other for 10years plus, we love each other...What more do we need? Is love enough....
If you have seen the movie, He's Just Not That Into You, I associate myself with Jennifer Anniston's character. The guy who is 100% committed. You act like your married..but no committment by law. I need and want that extra committment. Just saying your committed doesn't keep you away from other women...but Wait! Neither does marriage. So why do I want to get married? Maybe I don't have a clear answer for this. For one its the proper thing to do -we live as though we are married, we've known each other for 10years plus, we love each other...What more do we need? Is love enough....
The Beginning
So...let's get this straight first- I'm a wannabe Wife, not a wannabe Bride. I don't just long to wear a white gown down the aisle while 400 onlookers watch. I want to be happily married...I want to be a WIFE.
To give a little background on my relationship, me and Bob* met each other in High School and crushed on each other for years until we finally came together while we were sophomores in college. I was in Georgia, while he was in Arizona. We spent every college break together and Bob would even come see me and even miss school. We were as inseperable as you could be in a long distance relationship.
So fast forward to graduation...Bob decides to move to Los Angeles and to get a job with his Uncle Jack after I begged him to move to Atlanta to begin a new journey with me. On to his Uncle Jack--a total 'Jack' Ass. He had Bob manipulated and told him he would be making 60,000 a year. Bob ended up in a job that didn't require a degree and making only 24,000-Thank God he was living with a cousin rent and bills free.
So a year ago, I finally talk Bob into moving to Georgia to further his career. At first we decided that he would move with me temporarily until he could save up some money or find a friend to live with. We were inseperable and barely hung out with our friends to be together. It took Bob awhile to find a job so I was taking care of all the bills..every single one. He finally gets a great job...and I come home and find out he was fired. This started the change in our relationship. I went from Miss Happy to Miss Stressed. I was paying all the bills and had no help...plus how was he going to find a job after he just got fired.
Months go by and the roles of man and woman completely changed and went out the window. I was paying everything--Don't ask me to do anything. I know...I was wrong, but I had to right to be like this. I decided to get a house--which I did get based on my own income, but was really longing for the help of Bob. We move into a nice house. Both of our parents were confused about our relationship. "Why aren't you two getting married?" Now me, I've been wanting to get married to Bob for the past year and he knows it...everyone knows it. He claims he wants to marry me too- but I have seen no change or being proactive. Now don't you think Bob was leading me on by moving into MY house (not as a roommate but as a future something (fiance,husband) ) if he wasn't ready to get married?
This blog is about my life and what many women go through. We have a guy that is totally committed to us, but doesn't want to be committed by law and God "right now".
This is the story in real time of *Bob and Me (The Wannabe Wife)
To give a little background on my relationship, me and Bob* met each other in High School and crushed on each other for years until we finally came together while we were sophomores in college. I was in Georgia, while he was in Arizona. We spent every college break together and Bob would even come see me and even miss school. We were as inseperable as you could be in a long distance relationship.
So fast forward to graduation...Bob decides to move to Los Angeles and to get a job with his Uncle Jack after I begged him to move to Atlanta to begin a new journey with me. On to his Uncle Jack--a total 'Jack' Ass. He had Bob manipulated and told him he would be making 60,000 a year. Bob ended up in a job that didn't require a degree and making only 24,000-Thank God he was living with a cousin rent and bills free.
So a year ago, I finally talk Bob into moving to Georgia to further his career. At first we decided that he would move with me temporarily until he could save up some money or find a friend to live with. We were inseperable and barely hung out with our friends to be together. It took Bob awhile to find a job so I was taking care of all the bills..every single one. He finally gets a great job...and I come home and find out he was fired. This started the change in our relationship. I went from Miss Happy to Miss Stressed. I was paying all the bills and had no help...plus how was he going to find a job after he just got fired.
Months go by and the roles of man and woman completely changed and went out the window. I was paying everything--Don't ask me to do anything. I know...I was wrong, but I had to right to be like this. I decided to get a house--which I did get based on my own income, but was really longing for the help of Bob. We move into a nice house. Both of our parents were confused about our relationship. "Why aren't you two getting married?" Now me, I've been wanting to get married to Bob for the past year and he knows it...everyone knows it. He claims he wants to marry me too- but I have seen no change or being proactive. Now don't you think Bob was leading me on by moving into MY house (not as a roommate but as a future something (fiance,husband) ) if he wasn't ready to get married?
This blog is about my life and what many women go through. We have a guy that is totally committed to us, but doesn't want to be committed by law and God "right now".
This is the story in real time of *Bob and Me (The Wannabe Wife)
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